Feb222014
Sep132013
What is Your Congregation Like?
“So what are your congregation like?” came the question at a dinner party.
“Oh they’re wonderful,” came Ruth’s reply, “you couldn’t hope to meet a nicer bunch of people. They are warm and welcoming and they have a real desire to see the place thy live transformed for the better”.
With a slightly puzzled look upon his face the dinner guest made his response. “I didn’t mean that, what are your numbers like?”
#truestory
Aug302013
Church Beer Festival
How did we get here? I’m in St Matthew’s Church Grosmont. There are 15 well kept racked real ales in the corner. The room is packed. There is a small ukulele orchestra playing The Lion Sleeps Tonight on the chancel steps!
How did we get here? It’s a Friday night. It’s my day off. I’m away in a strange land (ok, the Yorkshire Moors) and somehow I’m in a Church of England ancient village church. We got here because they were telling us about this in the pub last night. In a different town. By “they” I mean “people who have no link to the church”. “They” got me into church tonight. The “non churched”. And they weren’t the only ones. There have been three different groups of people telling us about how good this is going to be! None of whom are part of the church.
People who don’t go to church are telling the world that The Church(TM) are a positive thing? This doesn’t compute.
And everyone is so enthusiastic about the gift that the church have given them. “This is Grosmont, there’s nothing to do here” is what we were told “but this is going to be excellent”.
And it is!
Jul252013
Welcome to Church
The Church of England has recently published a guide to the “Top Ten Facts About Christenings“. It is a starter for ten for people making enquiries about their local church and “getting little Timmy ‘done'”.It seems to have picked the same scab that The Weddings Project picked for a lot of vicars….. it educates people about their rights (something vicars don’t like to admit people have) and their responsibilities (something many vicars insist people should be born with pre installed like iOS6).
I am not a cradle Anglican. I may have mentioned this once or twice. I wasn’t even a churchgoer. I grew up with the belief that The Church TM didn’t have anything to do with ‘people like me’. In all honesty, the church treated me like a pariah when I was a teenager with a Helloween patch on the back of my denim jacket – I managed to attend for 5 weeks. When I arrived at university this is what I told Ruth: The church does not want people like me in it. The David Mitchell portrayal of the Evil Vicar isn’t just a cultural stereotype, it is often the real lived experience of a first time enquirer.
“Hello, are you the vicar? I am just ringing to ask about booking a venue…..”
There are two responses to this phone call:
a) [a brusk] It isn’t as simple as that! You are not simply booking a venue…
b) Congratulations. That’s great. Let’s have a chat about how we can help you celebrate the gift of a new child/celebrate the love you have for each other as you come together in holy matrimony…
I have sat in a room and watched both of these happen. I know which one I picked up as good practice.
The Church TM is a daunting experience for those of us you refer to as ‘unbelievers’. Walking through that door for the first time is a real challenge. If your first instinct is to trip someone up on their way in for the first time you will probably never see them again and neither will anyone else.
There is a massive theological issue at stake here. Jesus is the incarnate God who had a table ministry. He welcomed everyone in. Regardless of their religious literacy. Regardless of their knowledge of canon law or the parish system. Regardless of whether they had the language to ask for a service rather than a booking.
“I didn’t realise we could get married in church vicar”. Happy to help.
“Can we have Timmy done?” Why don’t you meet me and the church wardens on Sunday and we’ll help you along the way?
“Will I be able to bring my son with me, he’s got Asperger’s so he may not be the most well behaved.” That’s fine, everyone is welcome here. If we can cope with a noisy vicar like me I’m sure we can cope with a little noise. After all, some famous guy said ‘let the little children come to me’.